Cosmologist

From Slackerpedia Galactica

A person who reads Cosmo to excess.

Alternatively someone who studies the large scale structure and formation of the Universe. There's plenty of room for speculation about the big bang, because as yet there's no way to go back and check the history books. They say that history is written by the winners and it would seem that matter won out over anti-matter. Matter hasn't submitted the manuscript to the publishers yet, so human beings like Stephen Hawking are filling in for now.

As astronomers are often confused with astrologers, cosmologists are sometimes confused with cosmetologists. This is not entirely inappropriate as both professions study the effects of gravity on aging bodies.